Not With Anyone
by yas-m
Summary: After Kate and Sawyer escaped from The Others in NIP, the Others decide to teach Jack a lesson for the stunt he pulled in surgery. Canon up until NIP.
1. Chapter 1

Hey there! So, I am planning to write another multi chapter fic depending on the response I get from this chapter. I don't think I will be updating both simultaneously, honestly I doubt I have the time. But In Phuket is coming to its final chapters. So I thought if I get a good reaction to this then I can start taking it seriously, putting down some notes and ideas as I finish my other ongoing fic. So please let me know what you think! This entire fic, whether a oneshot, two shot or multi chapter fic is dedicated to the amazing Erica. Hope you like it, my dear.

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**Title: **Not With Anyone

**Rating: **T

**Summary:** After Kate and Sawyer escaped from The Others in NIP, the Others decide to teach Jack a lesson for the stunt he pulled in surgery. Canon up until NIP.

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**Chapter 1: The Enemy**

"STOP!" Kate yelled at the top of her lungs, pushing through the crowds that had gathered, "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

She reached the center of the mob where Sayid and Locke were tying an unconscious Jack to a tree. "YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO HIM!" she cried as she threw herself between them, trying fruitlessly to undo the ropes that were holding him against the rough bark.

"Sawyer!" Sayid called out and the southerner was quick to grab her by the waist and pulled her away. SHe kicked against him, trying to release herself from his firm hold.

"Kate, stop. You're gonna hurt yourself!" Sawyer berated her as he set her back on the ground.

"I don't care," she hissed between gritted teeth.

Kate looked around the crowd that had gathered. She saw the faces of the people who Jack had risked his life trying to keep safe, and on those faces she saw a look that made her sick. They were looking at him with disapproval, with disgust and annoyance. She felt the nger boil through her veins. She wanted to yell at them, scold them for the thoughts she knew were going through their heads, their lack of gratitude for all that Jack had done for them infuriating her more than the fact that one of his closest friends had knocked him unconscious and was tying him to a tree.

She turned slightly to look at Juliet, who as usual was standing just outside the circle, far enough to avoid contact with anyone, far enough to avoid any questions. She gave her a look woven with anger, hatred and blame. She wanted nothing more than to grab her and force all the answers out of her.

She saw the crowd start to disperse, and saw as Sayid emerged from its center, walking over towards her with a sad look on his face. She wanted to turn away, avoid his comments, his looks, anything that he would attempt to rationalize what they just did to the man they once called their leader.

"Kate, he's a danger to himself and everyone else in camp," Sayid said, "even Jack would say we need to make sure everyone is safe no matter what the danger is or where it is coming from."

"He's not dangerous, only confused," Kate said, her voice broken and dejected.

"He attacked Charlie, unprovoked," Locke said plainly, motioning towards where a beat up Charlie sat, being cared for by Claire.

"But he's Jack," Kate sobbed, turning to look at his unconscious body, leaning like a rag doll against the tree.

"Kate, that's not Jack, not the Jack we know. You have to accept that our Jack is gone... for good," Sayid said, the hurt of losing his friend evident in his voice and eyes, as he brought a hand up to her shoulder, trying to soothe her slightly.

"Maybe we shoulda never gone back and rescued him in the first place," Sawyer mumbled quietly, but not quietly enough, the sting of the slap that landed on his cheek resonating though camp.

_Six weeks earlier..._

_Jack struggled to open his eyes. They felt heavy, tired, as did the rest of his body. he tried to move his arms but soon realized they were bound to something. He figured as much. The last thing he remembered was the fist that landed forcefully against his jaw seconds after he had closed up Ben in surgery. He had no idea how long ago that had been, and he did not care. All that mattered was that he had made sure Kate was safe, on her way back to camp._

_His mouth was dry, and he felt the sting of that blow was still fresh on his jaw. He finally managed to open his eyes to a new unfamiliar surrounding. He had gotten used to the green moldy look of his underwater cell, but this new cell was nothing like it. He looked around him, white walls and one pull down screen in front of him which reminded him of old lecture halls in dark gloomy buildings at his university. He looked down to find himself strapped down to an odd wooden chair, surrounded by wires and cables._

"_Welcome back," a strange voice said and his head snapped to his left to locate the source._

_His eyes landed on a middle aged woman, blonde and furious._

"_Who are you?" Jack choked._

"_Who I am does not matter right now, Jack," she said, her voice dripping with malice, "what matters is what you did, and the consequences we will have to endure now because of your actions."_

_Jack's eyes darted around the room anxiously. He knew his little stunt during surgery was not going to go unpunished. To be honest, he expected he might even be killed for it. The anxiety grew wilder in his veins. Death he had expected, the ambiguity of what was going to happen to him though was more terrifying than that._

"_Where am I? What are you going to do to me?" Jack asked, the panic rising in his voice as he tried to maintain his composure._

_The woman poked her head out of the room, calling to two young men to help her. She then moved to stand facing Jack, the evil grin never leaving her pale face._

_The two young men came around the chair, one of them tying Jack's body tighter against it while the other moved to arrange a head piece and goggles over Jack's head. He tried to struggle against them, but his attempts were futile. His body was too weak to fight them off._

"_Welcome to Room 23, Jack," she said, bending over slightly to meet Jack eye to eye._

"_What is this place?" Jack snarled at her._

"_Well... think of it as an interrogation room. The Dharma Initiative designed it especially to facilitate their... communication with the people whom they called "the hostiles"," she replied._

"_What do you need to interrogate me for?" Jack spat angrily, "we all know I am guilty. So just go ahead and prepare the guillotine."_

"_Why would we want to do that, Jack?" she asked, laughing dryly._

"_Isn't that you plan to do eventually? Kill me?" Jack said._

"_Kill you? Why in the name of Jacob would we want to do that?" she spoke eerily, "You are far too valuable for that Jack."_

_She pushed herself back up, nodding her head towards the two young men and leaving her spot in front of Jack with one last grinning look towards him. The three ignored Jack's protests and attempts to break free, and as she stood with her hand on the the switch, she said one last thing before she turned the video on and left the room, "this won't hurt, Jack, don't worry. It's just a little experiment, something to help you relax and fit in comfortably."_

_

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_What are the Others doing to Jack? What will happen to him next? How will he come to return to the Losties camp? Why did he attack Charlie and why did his friends tie him to a tree?

And just so that everything is clear, everything up until the end of Not In Portland happened, so yes, skex did happen. Sorry.

Ok... so? what do you think? Worth giving it a shot? Review!


	2. Chapter 2

Hello there? Anyone still interested in this? Well, like I said, I am planning to come back and finish this story. I am sorry it has taken me so long, but things have been crazy. Hopefully I can get my head together and get this done, and I hope there is still anyone out there interested in reading it.

Anyhoo, I had good enough to write this tonight because my soulmate, my other half, Erica celebrates her birthday today (depending on your time zone), so baby, this is for you! Hope you enjoy!

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**Chapter 2**

With the sun starting to take its place at the edge of the horizon, getting ready to bid farewell to the island and make way for the dark of the night, the crowd had completely dispersed, leaving their once trusted leader unconscious and tied to a tree. _How can they just leave him there like that,_ Kate thought to herself with disgust. She stood watching the camp from the edge of the tree line, trying to calm down after the incident erupted earlier. She was aware of Jack's state of mind, she was the first of them to witness it, but she was not ready to give up on him, not after all he had done to help these people, to help her. She had told herself from the moment they returned to camp with Jack in this state that she would fight for him even if everyone had given up on him.

Watching the last of the survivors leave towards their respective tents or crowd around the fire, Kate made her way to the camp's makeshift kitchen, collecting some fruit and water and then walked towards where Jack was, avoiding the disapproving looks that shot around her. She kneeled by his side; wary of her actions because she knew the man before her was not the same one she had known just a few weeks before. She was not unaware of what the rest of the camp was whispering around her back, but contrary to what they believed Kate was not disillusioned. She knew what the Others had done to Jack, she knew that his brain was messed up, she had experienced it first hand when she had gone to get him back from the Others. She knew he could be dangerous to her and to everyone else at that point, but she refused to treat him how the others were treating him. So, when she sat next to him, she made sure to keep her distance at first, wait to check if he would wake up or not. When he did not move, she mustered the courage to reach over with a wet piece of cloth to clean the wounds on his face which he had sustained when Sayid and Sawyer were trying to pull him away from Charlie. She carefully dabbed the wet cloth against his skin, fighting against he emotions that bubbled through her as she watched the bruises forming against his skin. When she had cleaned the blood off his face, she sat back, grabbing a piece of mango from the plate she brought over. She sat a few feet away from him, nibbling at the fruit and watching over him, part of her worried about him if and when he woke up and another part of her worried what someone might do to him if he is left alone.

Further down the beach, two figures stood watching Kate, the two feeling the most sympathetic towards the scene in front of them. Sayid had seen enough of his army friends go through similar situations, being tortured or brainwashed to become people no one recognized. It broke his heart every time it happened to soldiers he did not personally know, and watching jack, a man he had become to consider a friend, was leaving him crippled. Next to him, Juliet stood watching the handiwork of Benjamin Linus, and even though she had fought against the experiment, she still felt guilty for what was done to Jack while he was captive, and she knew that the rest of the camp thought that too. Even though she had proven time and gain to them that she had nothing to do with it, that she was with them now, she still could not avoid the dirty looks that were shot at her through out the day.

"Why did he attack Charlie?" Sayid asked.

"What?" Juliet said, turning her gaze away from Jack and Kate.

"He attacked Charlie, unprovoked… he had not done something similar before…"  
Sayid explained.

"I don't know Sayid… I don't understand half the things he does myself," Juliet said tiredly, not appreciating the accusatory tone.

"Stop, Juliet. I know you know something you are not telling us!" Sayid hissed between his teeth.

"No, Sayid! I told you everything I know. I have been truthful from the beginning! You think if I knew something that could help Jack I would not tell you? You are not the only one who is worried about him!" Juliet snapped, walking away before allowing Sayid to say anything in return.

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_Three Weeks earlier…_

_Kate walked carefully towards the back door of the house Jack had entered. She was still unable o wrap her head around why Jack had been playing football with the Others earlier, why he had shook hands with Ben and why he was acting friendly with the people that had kidnapped them and tortured them. John Locke was right. If Jack was doing this then he had a reason. It was Jack after all._

_She wrapped her sweaty hands around the cold door handle and pushed carefully, whispering a silent prayer not to get caught. She walked into the dark corridor. The house was silent and she did not know what to expect. If she were to be honest with herself she would admit that she had not planned what she would do when she found him. Her plan did not go that far. All she knew form the beginning was that he needed to rescue him. _

_She heard a faint sound… music? She shook her head in confusion and walked faster towards the source. At the end of the long dark hallway was a dimly lit room, in the corner of that room was a piano, from which the music was being played, and the back turned towards her, playing the soft melody, was Jack's. She swallowed a gasp and waited for him to notice her, too entranced to break the spell. The music finally stopped playing, but when Jack turned around his reaction was farthest from anything she could have imagined._

"_You!" he whispered harshly, his eyes turning dark immediately._

"_Jack…" she said, letting go of the breath she was holding, and taking a step towards him, trying to ignore his tone and the darkness of his glare._

"_No! Stop!" he said, getting up from his seat, his towering height coming to his advantage, "not another step!"_

"_Jack, what's…" Kate asked in confusion, taking one more step._

"_I SAID DON'T MOVE!" Jack yelled as his hand hit something on the wall next to him. Just as he removed his hand, Kate saw the red button and heard the bellowing alarm ring through the Others' camp._

_Kate watched as Locke and Sayid were led into Jack's house handcuffed just as she had become soon after Jack sounded the alarm. Three guards were watching them as Jack, Benjamin Linus and a few of the Others talked in the kitchen. She tried to talk to Sayid was promptly hushed by the guards. The three of them sat quietly trying to listen to what was being discussed in the adjacent room._

"_It is so nice to see you all three again," Ben spoke smugly as he walked towards them, "I would love to say it is a surprise… but it's not."_

_He motioned to one of the guards before speaking again, "unfortunately it is a little late to deal with you now, so this will have to wait until morning."_

_The three kept looking between Ben and Jack trying to figure out what was happening but Jack only stared ahead, ignoring them, and when he did look at them, it was with the same disgust that they looked at Ben._

"_Sayid, John, you will spend the evening in our game room," Ben said as the two were pulled up by the guards, "and Kate, you'll be under Jack's watch. It should be an interesting evening for both of you."_

_Kate watched as her friends were taken away without another word, and then looked back towards Jack, whose cold gaze was unwavering. She waited until they were alone to speak._

"_What the hell is going on, Jack?" she asked in confusion, "what's… why are you…?" She could barely construct a sensible sentence before he walked away, again._

_She followed him into the kitchen, urging him to talk to her but he continued to ignore her. She finally sat down across the island from him and watched him as he prepared a sandwich quietly._

"_What are you doing?' she asked tiredly, struggling to keep her emotions in check. She was confused, tired from trekking for days._

"_It's called a sandwich," Jack answered coldly, and placed a plate in front of her._

"_For me?" She asked in shock._

"_Well, yeah… we wouldn't want you to starve…" Jack said._

"_We…" Kate huffed under her breath, "I don't want your stupid sandwich!" she cried pushing the plate back towards him._

"_What do you want?" Jack asked calmly._

_Kate looked at him for a moment, taking a deep breath to collect herself before speaking._

"_I want to know why you are acting like this? Why you are treating me, Sayid and Locke like this?" she asked._

_It was Jack's turn to look at her in confusion, his brow knotting before he answered her, "How else are we supposed to treat you people?"_

"_What?...what do you mean?" Kate asked, starting to see that the man before her was not the same man she saw a week ago. Something must have happened to him to make him speak like that._

"_You! And your friends! You take our people, infiltrate our camp, you watch us, you kill our people… YOU KIDNAP OUR CHILDREN!" Jack cried._

"_What? WE did not do any of this, Jack! They did! The Others! They did all that! To US!" Kate cried, not believing the words that were leaving jack's mouth. "They did that to us! You're one of US!"_

"_Ben did say you would say something like that," Jack said, calming down, "he said you are the worst of them all. That of all of them, you were the least to be trusted."_

"_No… Jack… What did they do to you?" Kate asked, her voice cracking with every word as the realization came to her._

_Jack had been brainwashed._

"_You should get some rest. It's going to be a long day tomorrow," Jack said quietly as he got up to leave the kitchen, making sure her handcuffs were locked against some pipes._

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The camp was completely quiet with everyone finally going to sleep. Kate sat across from Jack. She was drifting between falling asleep and waking up but refused to head back towards her tent until Jack woke up. She was watching him under the moonlight as he started to wake up, his eyelids fluttering slightly. He moved towards him, hovering over him and whispering his name, trying to wake him up.

She could not fight the smile that drew upon her lips as she saw his eyes open. "Jack," she said softly.

He looked at her, his eyes a warm chocolate brown; a shade she had not seen them in for weeks. His lips twitched in a half smile. There was something familiar and welcoming about the green that greeted him. But before the twitch could spread into a real smile, he felt the ropes that held his wrists together, bound to the tree.

Kate fell back suddenly as his eyes darkened and he started pulling at his constraints.

"You!" he spat at her.

"Jack!" the voice was loud and stern enough to calm Jack down and comfort Kate, "it's ok," Juliet spoke softly and she came closer.

The blonde woman nodded sadly towards Kate. Kate got up and left towards her tent, begrudgingly admitting that Jack would be ok with Juliet. She was the only he trusted anyway.

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**Next Chapter:**

_He would never hurt her… _

I hope that was ok for a comeback chapter. More soon… I hope.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Kate stood in the camp's makeshift kitchen, lazily slicing up a mango. She'd had a rough night, after eventually leaving Jack's side and making it to her tent. She spent hours lying on her bed, unable to sleep trying to make sense of what was happening. She looked over towards the tree line where Jack had been kept the afternoon before and saw that he was no longer there. She figured that Juliet must have untied him and gotten him back to his tent at some point. She sighed to herself, fatigue finally getting the best of her. She had prepared herself a large bowl of fruits when she saw Jack walk out of the tent timidly, keeping his distance from the rest of the camp. She watched him walk slowly towards the ocean and sit on his own.

"Sleep well?" the soft voice of Juliet startled Kate out of her reverie. She looked towards her and nodded slightly, wary of the blonde woman's presence. Kate knew that Juliet had shifted allegiances, she actually believed that, and she believed that she wanted to help Jack, but a part of her could not trust her completely yet. "It looks delicious," Juliet continued motioning towards Kate's plate of fruit.

"I guess," Kate mumbled, looking back towards Jack who was wincing as his fingers pressed against the bruises on his face.

"I was actually just going to take him something to eat..." Juliet said, "if you want, you can do it. It'll help, I think."

Kate swallowed hard, remembering the way he reacted to seeing her last night, but a part of her was also yearning to get the chance to be close to him. She shrugged and wordlessly took the plate from Juliet and walked carefully towards the edge of camp.

"Do you think it's a wise idea sending Kate?" Sayid said sternly from behind Juliet, "how do you know he won't attack her like he did Charlie yesterday?"

Juliet smiled, a hint of sadness in her smile, "he'll never hurt her," she said confidently.

"How can you be so sure?" Sayid questioned.

"Because deep down, he is still Jack," Juliet said, watching as the brunette slowly reached the spot were Jack sat, "and she's still Kate. No matter what Ben did to his head, there are things that will always be the same, things that don't exist in the head that he cannot tamper with."

_Three Weeks Earlier_

_Kate woke up with a terrible headache. She felt dizzy and confused. She looked around her. She was in a kitchen, handcuffed to a pipe in the wall. And it all came back to her. The failed rescue mission, the brainwashed Jack... Something caught her eye in the opposite corner of the tiled room. She tilted her head awkwardly to get a better view. It was a gas canister. Ben had gassed the house. She took a look outside the window and was shocked to see the "town" completely deserted, as though people had up and left. She suddenly saw movement from across the street and recognized the woman. She was the blonde woman that had held her at gun point not so long ago. Juliet, she thought she remembered her._

_"Hey!" Kate cried out, banging the glass with her free hand, "HEY!"_

_Juliet heard the cried coming from Jack's house and made a run for it. So far, she had checked most of the houses and found no one except the two prisoners unconscious in the game room. She had some idea what had happened, but was trying her best to keep those thoughts buried deep inside as she looked for evidence that she had not been abandoned by the people she had been living with for the past three years._

_Juliet rushed into Jack's house and went straight to the kitchen where she found Kate struggling to release her hand from the cuffs. _

"_What the hell is going on? What have you people done!" Kate yelled as Juliet walked towards her._

"_Believe it or not, I don't know," Juliet said, reaching into her pocket and uncuffing Kate, "where's Jack? Did he leave with them?"_

"_How the hell am I supposed to know?" Kate spat out with anger. She was fuming, not knowing what was happening and being asked questions about it._

"_Did you see anything? Hear anything?" Juliet asked again, her own voice rising._

_Kate shook her head in frustration, could it be possible the woman in front of her was as clueless as she was? "No I didn't! I just woke up with a splitting headache and this place looked abandoned! You're one of them so you tell me!" she said as she stood up, her wrist finally free._

_Kate pushed past her without waiting for her reply and made her way out of the kitchen. Juliet ran after her, roughly grabbing her arm, "where the hell do you think you're going?" she asked._

"_To find Jack!" Kate said._

"_Do you think that is the smartest thing? You think if he is still here, your face is the first thing he would want to see?" Juliet answered cruelly, not missing the flash of hurt that passed through Kate's eyes. "You saw him last night, you have to have realized he is not the same Jack you knew before… before he was brought here," Juliet explained calmly, "he would wake up expecting that your people did this, and he will hurt you."_

"_...HIM!" Kate spoke between gritted teeth._

_Juliet shook her head, "there will be time to explain all of this. Let me find Jack and you can go get your friends. They're down the path in the cafeteria," Juliet said pointing in the general direction._

"_And how do I trust you are not setting me up? That you are not sending me to a trap?" Kate accused._

_Juliet sighed, "I have checked every house. There is no one here but the five of us," she explained "if Jack hasn't left with them," she mumbled._

_Kate crossed her arms over her chest and stood her ground, not ready to trust the woman before her. Juliet clenched her jaw and took a deep breath, "fine," she finally said, reaching into the back of her jeans waistband and pulling out a gun, "take this," she said handing it to Kate, "now can I trust you not to shoot me?"_

_Kate took the gun and checked the chamber for bullets, ignoring the blonde's question, merely shrugging her shoulders._

"_Get your friends and meet me in the yard out front."_

_Kate made it to the cafeteria without any trouble and looked around for a few minutes before finding the room where Locke and Sayid were being held. She managed to wake them up but unfortunately had very few answers to their questions, the only thing she could say was that the man they had come to rescue was not who he was before leading them to the meeting point with Juliet._

"_Where's Jack? Did he leave too?" Kate asked worriedly when she say Juliet standing alone in the yard._

"_Calm down, Kate, he's here," Juliet said calmly, "we need to talk and he cannot hear what I have to say to you, so I sent him to get some supplies."_

"_What is happening here? Where is everyone?" Sayid stepped in, interrogating the blonde woman._

"_Sayid, my name is Juliet…" she started but was abruptly interrupted._

"_I don't care what your name is, I want to know what is happening!" Sayid asked again, anger bubbling through his voice, while Locke stood a few steps behind watching quietly._

"_Ok, but we don't have much time. I'll try to explain what happened to Jack and then… I don't exactly know what happened here this morning but I will try… knowing how Ben's mind work…" Juliet could see that the people in front of her were running out of patience, so she quickly cut to the chase._

"_After you left, Kate, you and Sawyer, Jack finished the surgery on Ben, and so, Ben had no use for him anymore. Or that was what we thought. A few days later, after leaving him in the cages that you had been kept in, he was drugged and taken to Room 23, the same room you took Karl from. You see, Ben had been for years working with one of the doctors here on some sort of experiment that involves… I'm not an expert on these things, I mean I read the medical reports, but they were all so theoretical it rarely made much sense…" Juliet trailed off for a moment._

"_What did Ben do to him?" Kate asked sternly._

"_These tests…these experiments they were some sort of brainwashing techniques. From what I understood was that they took the subjects memories, thoughts, beliefs and tampered with them. So… he remembers who you are… but he doesn't exactly remember who you are. He knows your name is Kate but he doesn't remember that you were his friend, his memories have been altered and now he believes you're his enemy. The feelings he had for us, are now the feelings he has for you guys, the Oceanic survivors. The allegiance he had to you, is now towards Ben and his people." Juliet explained sadly._

"_Ben had done this on a few others before, but never got this far because he would have never dared to do it on his people… Jack was the first chance he got to do it and get this far. And if I know Ben, now, he is testing the results. He wants Jack to go back with you to your camp to see how his experiment has worked."_

_Juliet watched the reactions of the three people in front of her. Locke stood with the same blank look on his face, a twinge of a smirk and knotted eyebrows and nothing much more. Sayid looked like he was trying to wrap his brain around it. She knew that he must have come across something similar in his military days but as far as she knew, no other experiment had gone as far as Ben's. And finally Kate. She looked devastated, part of her unwilling to believe but the other part, the part that remembered Jack from the night before was heart broken._

"_What about you? Why are you here?" Locke finally spoke._

"_I am being punished… banished if you wish. Ever since I helped Kate and Sawyer escape, Ben has been hinting that I will soon have to leave the community," Juliet said sadly._

"_So what now? Where's Jack? What does he think is happening?" Sayid asked._

"_Well, you came to rescue him so if you still want him to go back… I told him that we got orders from Ben. That we should escort you back to camp and keep an eye on you until further instructions from Jac… from Ben. He's just off to get supplies," Juliet said._

"_And he believed you?" Kate asked incredulously, the gun in her hand feeling friendlier and friendlier._

"_Jack really trusts me, we've become closer over the past weeks," Juliet said with a small smirk, "he'll believe me and trust whatever I say to him."_

"_So, if I understand correctly, what you are saying is that you plan to come along if we want Jack to come back?" Locke asked._

"_What do you mean IF? Jack is coming back home with us!" Kate said furiously glaring at the older man._

"_Well, if you want your camp to be safe, and you Jack to be safe, then yes, I am your only option," Juliet said._

_The three survivors looked at each other silently discussing their decision. Kate saw some doubt on Locke's end and read the hesitation in Sayid's looks. She quickly pulled her gun out and pointed it at Juliet's face, "if I find out you are lying to us, or if you are keeping something from us, I swear to God, I will not hesitate to pull this trigger, do you understand?"_

Present

"I don't understand it Juliet," Jack said as he sat with the blonde woman later in the afternoon having lunch after spending the day avoiding the residents of the camp, "what exactly is Ben hoping to achieve by having us here? I mean, we haven't exactly heard from him for three weeks."

Juliet watched him sadly, she could not imagine how horrible it must be to be living the way Jack was, unaware of the truths that surrounded, confused and lost without knowing it much. She thought for a moment, trying to figure out how to explain something like that to his already fragile state of mind.

"Well, Jack, some times things are not what they seem. We might not understand what Ben is doing or why, but you know that Ben would not do anything if Jacob does not order him to do it or approve it. And you know Jacob only wants the best for us. He chose us and will protect us, so I wouldn't worry if I were you. You know, it is not only Jacob. Sometimes there are so many people that care about us and want to protect us that we are unaware of, and they will always come through for us. We just need to stay put, try to keep out head down and appreciate that these people have taken us in…" she smiled at him before asking, "Why did you attack Charlie yesterday?"

Jack looked off in the distance for a moment, he did not know himself what provoked the attack, but he just remembered seeing Charlie kill his friend Ethan and needed to react on that. He tried to explain that to Juliet when he saw a man walk of the jungle, carrying a boar on his shoulder. He had long shaggy brown hair and wore a dark blue shirt that he left open. He had not seen that man before in camp and when they made eye contact, Jack felt a jolt of electricity shoot through his head. Juliet heard him hiss in pain and hold his head, dropping his entire upper body forward against his thighs and cry in agony.

"Jack! Jack! What's wrong?" Juliet asked in a panic.

Jack kept his eyes shut, as if avoiding looking at Desmond as he walked closer to them. "Who? Who is that guy?" Jack asked, his voice laced with pain as he pointed towards Desmond.

"Jack? What's going on?" Juliet asked.

"That man. Do I know him? Should I know him?" Jack asked in confusion, still holding his head in pain, "I just… this may sound weird, but looking at him is giving me headache… like I know him from somewhere but the memory is… it hurts."

**Next Chapter**

WTF? Why does seeing Des cause Jack a headache? What does this mean? Will Kate continue to help Jack? Will her kindness confuse him or help him? Has Juliet told them everything she knows or is she till keeping things to herself?


	4. Chapter 4

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had a holiday season. Again, I apologize for the delay in getting this new chapter up, but I hope you like it either way :)

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**Chapter 4**

Jack pressed his hands harder against his head, trying to fight the crushing headache. He hissed in pain as he tried harder to get the image of the Scotsman out of his head. Juliet looked at him sympathetically. She laid a gentle hand upon his forearm as she spoke softly, "Jack, talk to me… what's going on?"

Jack shook his head, unable to explain the sort of pain that was striking through him, "it's like…" he paused as another wave of pain shot through his brain, "it's like someone is scratching a chalk board in my head."

Juliet helped Jack retreat to his tent and urged him to try to get some sleep. She knew something was going wrong, something that had to do with whatever Ben did to him and seeing Desmond. She had seen slightly similar consequences with other patients when memories tried to resurface that conflicted with the new planted memories.

"What's going on?" Kate questioned Juliet immediately as the blond woman was leaving the tent.

"Nothing," Juliet lied, "everything's fine."

Kate shook her head in anger. She had been watching from down the beach and could easily see that Jack had in pain. "Don't lie to me, Juliet, I know something's wrong," she said.

Juliet stopped walking away from Kate and took a deep breath, "I don't know what is wrong Kate… but yes something is. I don't… Medically, I do not know what it is, but I think the "program" in Jack's head has a bug in it. Something happened when he saw Desmond a few minutes ago," she explained.

"Desmond? Why?" Kate asked.

"I don't know, I was going to talk to him now," Juliet said.

"Is Jack ok?" Kate asked unable to hide the emotion in her voice.

Juliet looked at her and smiled sadly, "he could use with an aspirin if you don't mind getting it for him," she said.

Kate nodded slowly, "ok, yeah, I can get him that."

Juliet placed a comforting hand on Kate's shoulder, "thank you. I need to go find Sayid."

Sayid huffed as he wiped the sweat off his forehead. He was grateful for a chance to work on something that did not involve having to deal with other people. He had been planning to fix his tent for a while now and after the incident with Jack and Charlie he thought it was about time he had a day for himself. He did feel bad for Jack, his friend had given everything and sacrificed so much to be treated like he was being treated, but he also understood the camps' fear and concerns when it came to the doctor. It was not an easy situation they were in, for anyone, but he needed the day off. But when he heard the footsteps closing in on him and Juliet's voice calling his name, he knew his little vacation was over. He dropped his tools on the sand next to him and turned, "what do you need, Juliet?" he asked with a tone of annoyance.

"Something happened," she said catching her breath, "I need you to come with me to talk to Desmond… I don't know him that well yet," she explained.

"Why what happened?" Sayid asked, his interest peaking slightly when Juliet brought up Desmond's name.

"Something happened with Jack when he saw Desmond, I am not sure yet, but I need to talk to Desmond first before I can say anything," Juliet said her ambiguity annoying Sayid slightly.

"That is all you are going to ell me?" Sayid asked, needing more before he gave up his free day.

"Please, Sayid, I need your help, this good be good news, or it could be absolutely nothing, but we have to try," Juliet said.

Down the beach, sitting in an airplane plane outside his tent, Sawyer watched as Juliet ran between Jack's tent and Sayid's, and also watched as Kate ran in the other direction towards the infirmary. He had to admit, the slap still stung against his face and his plans to confront Kate about it were forming. He walked towards the infirmary where Kate was looking through the medications Jack had organized and labeled almost on the same day that they crashed.

"Gotta headache, Freckles? Or is it that time of the month?" he said, noticing immediately how she cringed at his words.

"What do you want, Sawyer?" She asked, not turning to look at him but rather going thoroughly through the labels.

"Nothing, just checking up on you… you're looking for something specific?" he asked.

"Aspirin," she said over her shoulder.

"You got a headache?" he asked.

"They're not for me… they're for him," she said.

"What? You're not wasting our meds on _him_! We barely have enough to cover our own people!" Sawyer snarled.

"He is our people, James, or did you forget how risked his own life to save yours," she gnarled back at him, her jaw clenched in anger.

Sawyer put his hands up in defense, "ok, ok… listen, I'm sorry I didn't come here to fight."

"Then why did you come here?" Kate asked.

"To clear things between us, Kate," he said calmly, "it seems things have been not so great since you got back. Can't we go back to being like you know… before?"

Kate dropped her head and breathed deeply, "Things will never be like before, James," she said sadly and walked past him.

Jack sat in his tent, crouched in the corner and pressed his forehead against his bent knees. He waited as the waves of pain passed over and tried to concentrate on things other than the man he saw earlier. He tried to concentrate on the few things that seemed to bring peace to him, memories empty of any specific persons or events. He thought of sounds, he thought of a soft melody played on a grand piano, he thought of the sound of the waves lapping along the shore, bring the sand back with it around his ankles. He thought of tastes, sweet mango, guavas and passion fruits. He tried to push back any thoughts of the people he was living with before or any of the people he was living with now. He tried to bring back memories from his childhood, something warm and soothing but he could not think of anything. It was something that had been happening a lot recently. He had tried to talk to Juliet about it but did not know how to bring it up. He was feeling like a patient who had been suffering of some sort of amnesia, a case he had come across at some time. His memories were feeling less than memories and more like a film or tracks organized carefully in his subconscious. He did not know how to explain it so decided to ignore it, but the latest incident with the brown haired man was leaving him even more confused.

Jack was deep in thought when Kate walked into his tent, she hated to be the one to disrupt the peaceful moment he was in so she stood there and watched him for a few moments before she cleared her throat. Jack's head popped up from its place and he saw the brunette standing timidly at the door of his tent. They locked eyes for the briefest moment before she broke it, looking down to her hands where she twisted an aspirin bottle. She raised her arm towards him and spoke softly, "Juliet said you needed an aspirin."

He reached up and took the bottle from her, holding it between his hands, focusing on it before he raised his head back up to look at her. "Why are you helping me?" he asked her bluntly.

"Excuse me?" she asked, shocked and confused at his question.

"Why are you helping me? All of your friends hate me. They don't trust me. I hurt your friend Charlie before and you are the only one who doesn't seem to hold it against me. Why?" He asked her again.

Kate looked down towards her feet, rocking back on her heels and trying to find a way to bolt out without having to answer him, but something within her was urging her to stay, to do what everyone else was blatantly telling her not to, and to talk to him, as honestly as possible. It was still Jack after all. She bit her lip, forming the words in her head that would not confuse him more. "Because I trust Juliet, and she trusts you. She said you were in pain… We're not in the habit of watching people suffer no matter who they are," she said, avoiding his gaze.

Jack shook his head at her words, they seemed to methodical, too logical, and while he looked at her, her wild brown curls, her green eyes burning with energy, she did not seem to be one to follow logic in her approach to anything. "That's not all, is it? The others trust Juliet but they still stay away from me. But not you. Why?" he prodded further to her annoyance.

Kate sighed, she was not getting out of it easily, "What do you want me to say Jack?" she said, her voice not hiding the frustration she felt. Although she was dying to tell him the truth, especially now, when he was looking at her so confused, so vulnerable, his eyes begging for something real he could hold onto. She understood the dangers that it might cause, his mind was a fragile thing at the moment and any disturbance would cause him to go into a trauma of sorts.

"How about the truth, Kate?" Jack said back, the same level of annoyance in his voice as the events of the past weeks had started to get to him. He knew everyone around him was hiding something, including the one person he thought he could trust, Juliet.

"The _truth_?" Kate huffed; closing her eyes and breathing deeply, "the truth… that's always been the elephant in the room hasn't it?" she said and walked out before he got a chance to react. She walked out and left Jack in a farther state of confusion.

Juliet and Sayid spent almost an hour explaining to Desmond what had been happening with Jack since his capture by the Others. Desmond had been spending most of his time on hunting trips and had rarely been in camp since Jack returned. News of Jack's condition saddened Desmond, but he was ready to help in any way possible to understand why his presence had caused Jack's headaches.

"So, let me see if I get this straight, the Others altered all of Jack's memories and twisted them to mean something else? People that were his friends are now his enemies and the other way round?" Desmond asked running his hand through his messy hair.

"Well, not all his memories, just the memories pertaining to the island. Memories from before the island, from his childhood, have been subdued, pushed back to a place that is hard for him to reach. But his memories from the island have been tampered with, his relationships with people he met on the island have been twisted around," Juliet explained.

"Oh," Desmond said, his eyes widening.

"What is it?" Juliet and Sayid asked in unison.

"Jack and I didn't meet on the island," Desmond explained, "we met before."

"Wait… you mean, Jack knew you before the island?" Juliet asked, eyes wide in shock and traces of a smile starting to form on her lips.

"Yes…" Desmond explained.

"Then… then…" Juliet stated, swallowing hard at the words she was about to say, "the antidote just might work."

* * *

Whaaaaaa? There is an antidote? Naughty Juliet! She had been hiding this from us! Tsk tsk tsk!

Next up, Jack and Juliet have an important talk, Jack bonds with some of the Losties and the plan to try to save Jack is hatched!


	5. Chapter 5

I really do feel bad that I have been taking so long to update, honestly. And because I love you guys (and because I would hate to lose readers) here's the next chapter LOL! Enjoy my loves!

Oh, one more thing, I know Sawyer has been an ass in this story so far, and he will continue to be so in this chapter I am afraid, but he will be redeemed by the end of it.

* * *

**Chapter 5**

"What antidote? What are you talking about Juliet?" Sayid asked with impatience creeping into his voice. They had spent the last three weeks under the preconception that their friend was lost forever and here was Juliet suddenly mentioning an antidote.

"There's an antidote, a serum that can reverse the process," Juliet said.

"And you just remembered this little detail now?" Said asked angrily.

"The antidote was not made for cases like Jack's. The process he was put under was supposed to be the permanent one," Juliet defended herself, "the antidote was for patients who were tested partially, whose memories were just experimented on slightly. It was made to reverse that experiment, to retrieve those memories. I was under the impression that Jack had undergone the full procedure."

Juliet stepped back, raising her arms in defense against the rage spewing in Sayid's eyes, "I didn't want to give anyone any false hope. But now, after learning about Desmond... I think it is some sort of glitch in the program, so I think it might work."

Sayid took a deep breath, trying to calm his anger and asked, "Where is the antidote now?"

"It should be in the Barracks. If I leave now, I can be back early in the morning," Juliet said.

"You are not going anywhere," Sayid said sternly, "not alone."

Juliet nodded, realizing that what little trust the survivors had in her would probably be gone now.

"I am going to go talk to Kate," Sayid said, "and you, Juliet, are going to talk to Jack. He needs to be told at least part of what is going on. And if he sees you gone all of a sudden… no one knows how he might react."

Jack tossed and turned in the makeshift bed, struggling through another disturbing dream of a tiresome sleep. Ever since he and Juliet had moved to the beach, his dreams had gotten worse. They were strange, confusing and unsettling. And this was no different. He was running through the jungle in the middle of a torrential storm, running from something, scared and tired. And he was not alone. There was a guy behind him and a girl in front of him. He recognized them as Charlie and Kate, which confused him even further. They were also running from the same thing. He heard Charlie call for help and before he turns to help him, he sees something snatch Kate right in front of him and toss her into a tree.

Jack woke up with a gasp just as Juliet walked into his tent. "Are you ok?" she asked worriedly as she took in his pale, scared look.

Jack nodded slowly as he caught his breath, "just another dream," he mumbled sitting up.

Juliet smiled sadly. She knew he had been having a hard time sleeping even though he would not talk to her about it.

"What's up?" he asked casually, trying to avoid the subject of his nightmares.

"We need to talk," Juliet said, moving to sit next to him.

"What is it? Is it Ben? Did he make contact?" Jack asked.

"No...no..." Juliet said softly, weighing her words carefully, "he didn't, and... he is not going to."

Jack shook his head, perplexed at her words, "What do you mean? What is going on Juliet?"

Juliet paused for a moment, looking Jack straight in the eyes, knowing that her next words were crucial. She smiled, reassuring him with a squeeze of his hand and asked, "What do you remember of the last three months, Jack?"

"What's that supposed to mean? I remember just fine!" Jack replied angrily.

"Humor me, Jack, please," Juliet pleaded with him.

Jack sighed heavily and spoke, "three months ago, I was recruited to the island by Jacob. I was told that this place is special and that here I could be part of something great. My father had just died and I needed a break from things back home. So I got on the sub and came here," Jack spoke, his words coming out methodically, like reading out of a book, but if it sounded so to Juliet, it didn't seem strange to Jack who continued, "I arrived here and was sharing a house with another doctor, Ethan, but _they_ killed him a few weeks after I arrived." Jack's eyes narrowed with anger as he retold his version of the events of the past weeks, "A few weeks after that they kidnapped Ben, they tortured him, almost killed. But then, we convinced one of them to defect to our side and he helped Ben escape... but later they came for back for him, and killed Colleen and Danny doing so."

Juliet nodded. She had never heard Jack speak of any of this. She knew his memories were altered but she was shocked at how confident and sure he was, not stumbling once with the details. No wonder Ben was so proud of the work they had done with him, she thought to herself. "Jack," she said softly, "what if I told you that these things didn't happen exactly as you remember them, Jack? That there are details that are not as you think they are?"

"What do you mean? Why wouldn't I remember them?" Jack asked in confusion.

"Well, something happened," Juliet started before she was interrupted by more puzzled questions by Jack.

"To me? Something happened to me? Amnesia?" He asked.

"No, no... not amnesia," Juliet said, swallowing hard at the words that followed, "Ben... he did something to you..."

"What? Why? What did he do?" Jack said, his voice rising with anger above the confusion. Ben was his friend, why would he do anything to him? How could he? Juliet was definitely making this up, wasn't she?

"Jack, please, I know this is not easy, I know you're confused, mad even," Juliet said, urging him to sit back down, "and trust me this is not easy to explain. Please understand I didn't mean to keep this from you, but I had no choice."

Jack sat back down next to her, rubbing his forehead, trying to calm himself down for her explanation, he owed her that much he supposed. "Ben had these test... experiments done to you. This procedure, it led to you believing things that are not true. It tampered with the memories from the past three months," she explained calmly, watching as his eyes fired up with a mix of rage and more confusion.

"What does that mean? Everything I just told you... it's wrong?" Jack asked, his jaw clenched, trying to maintain his composure.

"Not exactly wrong... more like tampered with, for things to appear different than you should remember them," Juliet said. "But Jack, the good news is, there might be a cure."

"A cure? Can't you just tell me the truth?" Jack asked.

"It doesn't work like that. Telling you the truth won't make you remember, it'll be just like knowing two versions of a story. Your mind will stick to the version it believes is true. This antidote, it will help you regain your memories naturally by them replacing these fake ones," Juliet said.

"Can't you at least tell me something?" Jack asked exasperated, trying to find a semblance of sanity in this madness.

Juliet bit her lip cautiously; "Ok," she said, "you know these people outside? They are not your enemies. They are your friends. You crashed here with them. They are your friends, and they care about. They're worried about you," Juliet said.

Jack watched her, saw the pain she was suffering with her words, and it reminded him of the pain he saw in Kate's eyes when he talked to her earlier and it finally made sense, why she had been helping him.

"And you?" Jack asked, his voice cracking.

Juliet shook her head sadly, "I didn't crash here three months ago. No... but I am your friend, and I do care about you. That part is not a lie, Jack" she said, melancholy laced in her words.

Before Jack could react to her confession, the flap of the tent came whipping in and an enraged Kate came barging in, "YOU BITCH!" she cried launching herself towards Juliet.

The blond woman was quick on her feet, standing defensively against he more petit brunettes, "Kate, calm down," Sayid said coming in hurriedly after Kate.

"How much longer were you going to wait before you _remembered_ there is a cure?" Kate spat at her angrily while being held back by Sayid.

"Sayid? You didn't explain to her how it works?" Juliet asked.

"Oh yes, he did! But we could have at least tried instead of just watching him suffer for three weeks!" Kate cried.

"Do you think it would have been wise injecting drugs into his system just to see if maybe they work? God knows what they would have done to him! I am not even sure they would work now!" Juliet cried back not appreciating the implications that she did not have Jack's best interest at heart.

Sayid's gaze travelled towards Jack for a moment, and he saw him watch in confusion and horror, "ladies, calm down," he urged them sternly, "why don't you take this and settle it outside?" he said to the two who accepted begrudgingly.

A small crowd had formed as Juliet and Kate took their argument down the beach towards the edge of camp. Whispers and rumors began circulating the mass of people but no one dared to bring their voice up because they all saw Jack was in their midst. No one had said anything until Sawyer spoke up, "I've got five on Freckles if this breaks into a cat-fight."

It was the last straw for Sayid who promptly ordered the group to disperse, promising an explanation soon enough. They all eventually left until the only people left were Sawyer and Hurley along with Sayid and Jack, watching the two women argue from a distance.

"Sawyer?" Sayid said, hoping the man would take a hint.

"What? That's my girl there, I need to make sure she is safe," Sawyer said.

"Dude," Hurley said, looking towards Sawyer, "don't... let's go."

Jack and Sayid watched quietly as the two women's confrontation went from a heated argument to a calmer discussion. Jack had a million questions he wanted to ask Sayid but could see the Iraqi was boiling himself so he thought of a different plan. He walked the few meters towards the tent he knew was Hurley's and found him sitting outside of it, trying to patch a pair of shorts.

"Hey, Hurley," Jack said timidly, a small smile drawing on his lips. Something told him talking to Hurley would be safe. The man seemed friendly and ever since his return he was one of the very few not to act hostile towards him or treat him with any hatred.

"Hey... Jack..." Hurley said, shocked to see the doctor approach him.

"May I sit down?" Jack asked.

Hurley watched him closely, he wasn't afraid of Jack. He felt bad for his friend, who had done so much and sacrificed so much for the group and now was an outcast. He tried to ignore the rumours circling the group since the fight with Juliet and Kate broke up earlier but he could not help over hear a few of them. Some were saying Jack had regained his memory and others were saying Kate saw Juliet kiss Jack and some wilder ones were saying that Juliet and Kate themselves were lovers and were fighting. He was pretty sure Sawyer started that last one.

He looked back up at Jack, squinting in the sun and nodded. "So what's up, Jack?" Hurley asked, trying to remain calm and casual.

"You don't need to be scared of me, Hurley," Jack said with a smile.

"No, I know, dude, I'm not scared," Hurley said, "I know that thing with Charlie was kind of a fluke."

"No, I mean, you don't need to be scared of me because I am one of you," Jack explained, unable to resist the smile that spread on his lips at how natural it felt to say those words.

"Oh my God! Dude! You remember!" Hurley cried.

Jack put a finger to his lips, urging Hurley to keep it down, "no, no not exactly," Jack explained. "Juliet had something interesting to tell me earlier, before Kate..." Jack said with a little chuckle remembering how terrified Juliet was when Kate leaped at her, "I still don't know what is right and what is wrong, but I do know that I am one of the you guys, the plane crash survivors and not one of Ben's people."

"But you will remember everything soon, won't you?" Hurley asked excitedly, "dude, it will be so great to have you back!"

"Juliet said there is an antidote, so hopefully," Jack said, before looking back down the beach to where Kate and Juliet were still talking, "you think they will be ok?"

"Yeah, they'll be fine. If you're worried about Juliet... Kate won't hurt anyone unless they are planning to hurt someone she cares about, and she knows Juliet won't hurt you," Hurley said.

Later that night, around a small camp fire, Sayid, Juliet, Kate, Locke and Jack sat, planning what to do next.

"I think it would be best for Desmond to come along with us, avoid having Jack go through another episode. We don't know what seeing Desmond is doing to him," Juliet said.

"And in the mean time, Jack and Kate, you can head to the medical hatch and make sure everything is set up," Sayid said, not failing to read the uneasiness on Kate's face.

After all the details had been set for the following morning, the group bid each other good night and headed towards their tents. Sayid caught up with Kate before she made it to hers. "Kate, wait up!" he called after her, "are you ok? You don't need to be worried about tomorrow. If you don't want to go with Jack alone..." he started but she interrupted him.

"No it's nothing like that," she said but before she could explain, a voice popped up behind her.

"Kate's going no where alone with Jack," Sawyer said.

The two looked at him, shocked at his presence, "ya'll thought you could have a little secret meeting and not tell me about it?"

"You were eaves dropping?" Sayid asked in disgust.

"Hell yeah I was. You didn't think I would be useful in this little adventure you have planned?" Sawyer said angrily.

"We didn't think you would be interested in helping Jack," Kate said, her anger matching his, "you have made that perfectly clear."

"Well, I am now," Sawyer said, "a man is free to change his mind. I am going with you."

"No you're not," Kate said and turned to leave, tired of having to go through this with him.

"Yes, I am. You think I'm going to let you go anywhere alone with him?" Sawyer said possessively, "he might know that he is not one of the Others, but he is still not one of us, not yet."

"You're unbelievable, you know that?" Kate said.

Kate stormed off but before she could get any farther away she bumped into Jack who had apparently made a stop at the kitchen before bed and heard the whole conversation. He gently touched her arm, urging her to return to the small huddle. Kate gasped at his touch, unable to stop the shiver that rush along her spine.

Jack stood in front of Sawyer and looked at him straight in the eyes, "I know you are worried about her, but I am not going to hurt Kate. Why would I hurt anyone of you? You're just trying to help, and I could use all the help I could get at the moment," he said to Sawyer before turning to look at Kate, his hand having never left her arm but only loosened to a gentle touch, "but if you do feel uncomfortable being alone with me, I understand, and someone else can some along."

"Oh, great, our great hero and his big white stallion are back," Sawyer mumbled, "you know Doc, we were doing just fine without you here."

"Sawyer, enough!" Sayid said, tired of the southerner's hostile attitude towards their friend. Sawyer threw his arms in the air and turned to leave, "I don't care, you can go prance into the jungle with him all you want. I'm done," he said at Kate and left.

* * *

I hope you all enjoyed this, and I hope the explanation about the antidote was clear. Review and I might update even faster ;)

By the way, there are three more chapters left in this specific fic, after which I have another one planned out, which I am so so so so psyched about. But as for this one, it's wrapping up soon, and here are "spoilers" from the next three chapters:

Chapter 6: Were we friends, Kate? You and I, were we friends?

Chapter 7: A girl kind of hopes that when she kisses a guy, he kisses her back.

Chapter 8: You forgot all about me.

Oh and just so that you know, next chapter I will be making up so much medical shit about the treatment and the cure and how the human mind works, I'll probably make the entire medical community cry. :p


	6. Chapter 6

In this chapter, much medical crap is made up by le moi. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Sun made her way towards Kate's tent to find her friend stalling in the process of her packing her bag in preparation for the hike. "Kate?" she said, rousing the other woman from her reverie, "they're ready to move," she pointed to where the group had gathered at the edge of camp.

Kate shook her head and stuffed a water bottle into her bag, "oh... ok," she said almost absentmindedly.

"Are you okay?" Sun asked as she knelt next to Kate.

Kate smiled, appreciative of Sun's friendship, "yeah... yeah... it's just that," Kate said, swallowing hard at the admission she was about to voice, "Jack is going to have so many questions and I just don't know how I am supposed to answer them."

"Oh, Kate," Sun said softly, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder, "it's Jack! When have you two ever had trouble talking?"

Kate let out an exasperated huff, "exactly! it's _Jack_!"

"Kate," Sun spoke timidly, cautious of what she was about to ask, "what happened when you were with the Others?" Everyone had sensed something had happened that none of them talked about, but no one had the courage to poke into it.

Kate shifted next to her friend, her gaze avoiding Sun's, "it's... complicated," Kate said.

"Well, whatever it is, I am sure you two can work past it. Once the cure does its job, he will be back, The Jack we know," Sun comforted her.

Kate nodded, genuinely relieved that they have finally gotten some hope but a part of her was still scared. "I know I sound horrible, Sun, but a part of me just wonders...it's just that sometimes I feel, maybe it's better that Jack never remembers," Kate admitted with a strangled sob.

Sun watched her friend through her confessions, and watched her sadly and she tried to maintain her composure. She could not imagine what horrible things happened when they were held captive, but they must have been unbearable for Kate to wish for Jack never to remember them. "Kate, whatever happened with you two, you can work past it. This could be a fresh start for you," Sun said, speaking of her own experience, "You care about him, right?" she asked and watched as Kate's head bobbed with a confident nod, "and you want him safe and healthy, right? Then Jack is going that and whatever happened in the past will be just that, in the past."

The group eventually set off on their journeys, Jack and Kate heading towards the medical hatch and Juliet, Desmond and Sayid towards the barracks. The plan was for Jack and Kate to set up the medical station, while the others brought the antidote from Ben's house and met back at the medical hatch.

Kate was relieved that their hike was relatively quiet. While she expected Jack to be asking questions based on the revelation of the day before, he was surprisingly calm. The only words they spoke were when they passed the water bottle between them. However, while she was glad they were avoiding questions, it was awkward to be on a hike with Jack and remain so quiet. She longed for the hikes where they would spend hours exploring new territories in search of fresh water or new fruit groves. During those treks they would talk nonstop, from chats about the latest events in camp, or more intimate talks about their lives back home, their childhoods, parents, friends. And even then, when they did remain quiet, it was a comfortable silence, warm, calming and soothing, unlike this silence which was cold, heavy and awkward.

The situation did not change much when they arrived at the hatch, either. They did talk, but it was clinical. Jack explaining to her what they needed to prepare and her helping him by fetching the instruments and cleaning them as he set up the space.

They were done setting up and had a few hours before the rest of the group arrived. They found themselves sitting across each other in the exam room, Kate cross legged on the bed and Jack sitting on the counter, his long legs hanging from the edge of it. Kate tried to occupy herself with a book she borrowed from Sawyer weeks ago but never got around to read, while Jack sat watching her, well aware she was only pretending to read and was trying her best to avoid any contact with him.

"Kate?" he asked, his voice losing the clinical tone it had the whole time they had been setting up the space. She looked up at him with questioning green eyes, "were we friends?" he asked, shocking her with his question.

"What?" Kate asked.

"Before this whole thing… with my head," he said with a chuckle, "were we friends? you and me, I mean."

"Of course we were," Kate said, moving to the edge of the bed, closer to where he sat, "we were all friends."

"So, you and I? We were friends," he said, "just friends…" he added the last part nervously.

Kate swallowed hard, "what do you want to know, Jack?"

"It's just that…" Jack started but quickly stopped when he sensed the tension in Kate's gaze, "never mind. It's nothing."

Kate felt guilty for making him go back to his hiding place. She knew this wasn't easy for him, and whatever he wanted to say, it was unfair for her to hinder any progress he might have in regaining his memories, no matter how much it would hurt her. She mustered up the courage and spoke, "no it's ok, Jack, you can ask whatever you need to."

Jack nodded appreciatively, "I have been having these dreams," he began, "ever since I got to the beach. Confusing dreams. I thought they were just fabrications of my subconscious, but they seemed so… real. I wanted to tell Juliet about them, but I just didn't know how to explain them because they seemed so messed up, so wrong but still felt so vivid. And now I understand that those were not dreams at all, they were memories trying to surface, memories that could not crack their way through when I was awake but could when I was asleep. I still do not know what is real and what is not, but most of these memories I can remember quite well, and you, Kate, were in almost every one of them," he explained.

Kate watched him spill his deepest secret to her, watched Jack allow himself to be vulnerable in front of her, and listened to him admit that he had never truly forgotten her. But she knew she did not have the right to rejoice about that. She knew that what she had done had been terrible, that it was because of her that this was happening to him. The terrible price he was paying was not his to pay but hers. "Well, we did spend a lot of time together before, we worked together to keep the camp safe, gather food, water…" she said, trying to validate her presence in his memories to him.

He nodded and dropped his head, his gaze lowering towards the floor. He had seen them hunting and gathering fruit together in his dreams. He'd seen them fight the monster and help other survivors. But he had also seen her hug him, he had seen her kiss him in the middle of the lush green jungle. He remembers that specific dream quite vividly. He had woken from it terribly confused; his mind full of rage and confusion, while his heart felt warm with something foreign and inexplicable.

But he had also seen her in Sawyer's arms, naked, wrapped in his shirt. He had seen her kiss him and fall asleep in his arm. And that dream had left him even more perplexed. She was his enemy and yet he had woken up with a haunting sense of anger, jealousy and heart ache.

Kate watched the array of emotions that spread across his features and dared to wonder what other dreams he had had, what he had seen, and what those dreams had told him about their relationship, about her.

"We're here," came Juliet's voice from the entrance, to the relief of both.

Jack and Kate watched as Juliet and Sayid entered the exam room they had set up.

"Where's Desmond?" Kate asked as soon as she saw the Scotsman was not with them.

"He's outside. It will be best if he doesn't come in until after the antidote is administered, that way we can see if it works or not," Juliet explained.

"And where is the antidote?" Kate asked again when she saw both were empty handed.

"Here," Sayid said, reaching into his bag to pull out two tiny bottle and a syringe.

"That's it?" Kate asked, as Jack watched the interaction silently from the side.

"Yeah, that's it," Sayid said.

"What now?" Jack asked, bringing everyone's attention to him. The constantly confident doctor spoke with a twinge of uncertainty in his voice and it came as a surprise to all.

"Well, the antidote has to be injected into your system, intravenously, it should react with your blood. I am not sure how long before we should see results, usually it was a few hours but the cases I had seen were never like yours," Juliet explained, "so it might take longer, if it works."

"Ok, so let's do it," Kate said nervously.

"Not so fast," Juliet said, "I first need to draw a blood sample to test how the medicine will react with Jack's blood. We don't want to risk a negative reaction. His body can go into shock."

"Why would it?" Kate asked.

"Ben had him injected with so many drugs when he was held captive," Juliet explained, "some of it might still be in his system, if not all of it, and who knows how they will all react together."

"And if it does react negatively?" Kate asked.

"Then it means it won't work," Jack said wretchedly, "right, Juliet?"

"Well, technically," Juliet said, "that is right. Unless we find someone with the same blood type as yours…"

"What are the odds of finding another O negative?" Jack asked.

"You'd be surprised," Juliet said, turning to face Kate.

"What?" Kate asked "Me?"

"When we tested, back on Hydra island," Juliet said, "you're both the same blood type."

"That's why you wanted me here?" Kate asked.

"You would have come anyway, wouldn't you?" Juliet replied with a smirk.

Sayid helped both Jack and Kate to get ready for the test while Juliet prepared the medicine. Jack looked to his left, smiling at Kate who seemed terrified.

"Are you ok?" he asked with concern.

"Just not a big fan of needles," Kate joked, a nervous chuckle.

"It'll be ok," he said, hoping to calm her nerves, "just don't look at it, don't think about it. Think of something that makes you happy," he said, his smile stretching wider.

Kate nodded and tried to return the smile.

Juliet walked back in, explaining that they were ready to start the process. Jack's blood had, as she expected, had a negative reaction, but Kate's blood seemed to be ok. The process would not take long. Taking blood samples from Kate, administering the drug to the sample and then injecting Jack with it along with a mild sedative.

After a few hours, Jack and Kate lay in adjacent beds, Kate resting after the blood transfer and Jack having just received the mix of medicine and sedatives.

"Thank you, Kate," Jack id, "for doing this."

"Don't thank me just yet," Kate said, "let's wait till this actually works."

"No, even if it does not work, I need you too know that I am grateful, that I appreciate it," Jack said, looking at her with eyes warm and emotional, "and not just this, but also for the past weeks, for coming back for me. I know it must have been terribly difficult for you to try to stay my friend when I was being so cruel, when everyone around you was trying to convince you not to."

Kate nodded, her emotions getting the best of her, tears pooling at her eyes at his words. "You're welcome," she whispered, "I only did what I knew you would do for any of us."

"Thanks for not giving up on me," he said, his voice dropping as his body finally gave in to the sedative.

Kate looked at him, watched as his features softened, calmed, his eyes shutting softly, his lips parting, and she finally allowed the tears to spill. She reached over, taking his hand softly in hers and whispered, "I could never give up on you. Please don't give up on me."

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Well, I hoped you liked this. Next chapter we find out if it worked or not and if it did, how will Jack and Kate's relationship develop when he remembers? And if it doesn't, will she tell him everything? See you next time ;)


	7. Chapter 7

I am so sorry for the long delay in updating this fic, and I really hope I haven't lost you guys. Real life has been tough the past month, but I hope it's getting better now. Anyway, here's chapter 7. Enjoy!

Oh, and I typed this on my phone, so there are sure to be plenty of typos and errors even though I have proofread it. These things happen :p I apologize.

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Chapter 7

According to Juliet, the procedure was a success. However, for that, they had only her word to take for it. Jack had rarely been seen outside his tent since they returned from the medical station, almost a week ago. When he did leave, it was late at night, when he knew everyone should be in bed, and there was little risk he would bump into anyone. What the procedure had done was bring back to the surface all the memories that Ben had buried, but what it did not do was delete the ones Ben had planted. Jack was suffering from having two sets of contradictory memories, and whenever he saw one of his fellow survivors, those memories would struggle against each other to take control, leading to a crushing headache, mush like the one he suffered when he first saw Desmond.

It was during one of his late night ventures out of his tent that Jack bumped unexpectedly into the last person he would have wanted to. He knew he had a history of turmoil with Sawyer, that they did not often meet eye to eye on things and that Sawyer often did what he did only to piss off Jack. He also knew that Sawyer had a connection with Kate that he often boasted about. In the jumble of memories that were rumbling in his head, Jack knew that last one was what bothered him the most. He was still not sure of what his relationship with Kate was, or what feelings to feel, but despite all that, he knew it bothered him that Kate and Sawyer shared something, that Kate and Sawyer were something that he could not have wit her.

He had spent the day doing a little exercise that Juliet had suggested. She had the idea that he should write down all these conflicting thoughts and memories and try to distinguish the truth from the fabricated. She thought that by pulling them out of his head he could start freeing his mind from the chaos. Although he had been suspicious at the beginning, he had decided to give it a chance and found out it was actually liberating. After a long day, Jack could not wait for the camp to go to sleep so he could sneak out and take a break, stretch his legs and enjoy the cool water of the evening.

"So the rumors are true after all," came Sawyer thick voice in the dark night as Jack made his way down the beach.

Jack jumped back, slightly startled, before he realized who it was. "Excuse me?" he asked, watching as the blond man walked towards where he stood at the water's edge.

"There have been rumors that the good doctor, who spends his days in hiding, comes out at night. So you finally remember just how annoying everyone around here truly is, huh?" Sawyer mocked.

"Yeah, I guess they are right," Jack answered dryly, sitting down on the warm sand, not completely ignoring Sawyer, but not being too friendly either.

Sawyer read Jack's attitude and stood there a moment before turning to leave, letting the doctor have the moment of solitude. However, after taking two steps away, something pulled him back, he wasn't sure where it came from or why, but he knew it was either going to happen then, or never. The words came out against his better judgment, and they sounded foreign on his lips and they did, "I was jealous."

"I'm sorry?" Jack asked in confusion, trying to fight against the conflicting memories at hearing Sawyer's words.

"I was jealous," Sawyer said again, turning back towards Jack, "I am jealous, and I guess that is why I was being such a jerk when everyone was trying to help you. It's not that I didn't want you to get better, I mean…"

"What are you trying to say, Sawyer?" Jack asked, standing up and turning to face him.

"I never envied you for the role you had to play for the group, hell, I even felt grateful that it wasn't me who had to take all the tough decisions. You were the one everyone went to when something had to be done, a problem needed to be solved, and for the longest time I though, thank God it's not me. But it's not just that. People trusted you, had faith in you, the sought your guidance, it might be a headache at times, but it gave you a purpose, but I didn't understand that, not before. Once we got back from the Others, people started to look to me for decisions, and I knew what it meant to be part of the group, to be useful for the group," Sawyer said, shocking himself first at the admission he had never let another soul know about.

"I started to feel selfish, that maybe your disappearance can be something I could use for my advantage. But it was not enough. I was not enough, not for the group, who never stopped hoping for your return," Sawyer said, his jaw clenching at the next words, "and not for her. I thought that now, after we escape, I will finally have my chance, with you out of the picture, if I take your place, maybe she will look at me the way she looked at you. But that wasn't the case. With you gone, it only made you that much important to her, and I disappeared even more to her. And after you came back, with all the mess you brought with you, you weren't even you, and with that, I still couldn't beat you."

Jack shook his head, staring at the sand at his feet. With he knew about Sawyer, and all he thought he knew; this confession puzzled him even further. Was Sawyer admitting he was jealous of him? And did he just say that he was battling for Kate with him? Had he not seen them sleeping together?

"Aren't you and Kate together?" was all Jack could ask, kicking himself mentally for sounding like a clueless high school kid.

Sawyer smiled sadly, "what ever you think we had, or I think we had, Kate has made it clear, we were never together," he said before walking away towards his tent, leaving a befuddled Jack alone on the beach, struggling with more confusing feelings and memories than he could handle.

Morning came quickly, too quickly for Jack who had spent it awake, deep I thought, sitting in the same spot that Sawyer had left him at on the beach. He watched as the early risers started to make their way out of their tents and into the welcoming warmth of sunrise. He was not surprised at all to see that one of the first to wake up was Kate, exiting her tent with her backpack strapped and ready to make her morning rounds of fruit picking.

Jack took a deep breath, mustering up his courage and walked towards her as she packed her supplies. "Can I join you?" he asked timidly.

Kate looked up at him in surprise. She had seen Jack all week and here he was suddenly asking to join her as he though it was the most natural thing, and it was, for the old Jack. She smiled widely and nodded, "of course you can," she said, before you're quickly adding, "are you sure you are up to it? Juliet said you're still having those headaches."

"I'll be fine," he said, smiling, touched by her concern, "it'll just be you and me, far from everyone else, so I shouldn't have trouble with any new memories triggered."

Kate nodded, taking a second before realizing what he just admitted. His memories of her had returned, all of them, and he still wanted to hang out with her.

They walked quietly through the jungle, enjoying the warm morning sun. Jack watched Kate as she worked, choosing a tree, climbing it, and collecting the fruit. He admired her workmanship, restlessness and determination. It didn't take him long to remember what he admired about her in the first place. He quickly understood why they had been partners before, why he trusted her and depended on her. He smiled to himself, remembering all the times they had trekked into the jungle together, in search of food or water. What they were doing was so natural, felt so right.

And even though some of the emotions he was feeling were still confusing and unsure, he felt at peace at that moment, and he knew it was a right time to talk to her. A part of him knew she would be evasive, that much he knew about her, but he also knew all the mistakes he had done before, how avoided talking to her to avoid confrontation, kept his distance and kept his walls up. What good had that brought?

"Wanna take a break?" he asked as she made her way down a mango tree, handing him three large juicy fruits to pack.

"Sure," she breathed out, wiping her brow with the back of her hand.

They sat down in a small clearing sharing a fruit and a bottle of water. "How's the recovery going?" she asked sincerely.

He nodded, "fine, better. It was pretty hard at first but it's getting better," he said.

"What is it like? I mean, what exactly is happening?" she inquired curiously.

Jack dropped his head, running a palm through his hair.

"I'm sorry, if it's too hard to talk about..." Kate said apologetically.

"No, no. It's ok. It will probably help to talk about it, that's what Juliet's been saying," he said, failing to notice the jealous twinge in Kate's eyes. "it's been like seeing two versions of the same story. But it's all in my head. I would see a flash of Charlie killing Ethan, for example, and a part of me knows it was to protect Claire, but another part thinks that Ethan was my friend and that I want to avenge his death."

Kate watched him sadly as he explained to her his confusion and pain. "Or I would feel the scar across my back," he said, moving his hand to trace over the scar was, "and I get flashes of you shooting at me," he said the last part angrily, "they made me believe that you would shoot me, while I know now, I remember, that it was you who saved me, who stitched me up." his voice cracked as he fought against his emotions.

He hated that they had done that to him, that he had let them. He felt as though he had let her down by allowing them to break him I that way, especially in that way.

Kate reached over and laid a soft touch on top of his hand, "it's ok Jack. It's not your fault. They did this to you. But you're fighting back," she comforted him.

Jack nodded appreciatively. "Thanks... You see, some of the things I am remembering, I can make sense of. I know how to categorize them, where to put them in my bank of memories. I remember how I felt about them. But there are other things, I just can't. And I don't want to do that anymore. To compartmentalize and hide away the confusing memories," he said, his voice sounding more confident than he actually felt.

Kate swallowed hard, sensing slightly where this could be going. "Like what?" she asked cautiously.

"I had a talk with Sawyer last night... It was interesting," Jack said with a small smile, hoping those few words would be enough for her to explain, the image of her and Sawyer together not the memory he wanted to talk to at the moment. Jack saw how her face had dropped, becoming pale, and as she started to pull her hand away from his he grabbed it. He didn't want to make the situation harder than it needed to be. So he decided to approach it lightly.

He squeeze her hand an urged her to look at him. When she did he smiled and waited or her to react. Her smile was weak but in it e saw everything he hoped he would. He saw the woman he knew, the woman who was a fighter, the woman who came back for him when it meant risking her own life, the woman who trusted him when no one did a fought for him when he was not fighting for himself.

"A guy kinda hopes that when a girl kisses him, she doesn't go running like hell in the opposite direction," he said, the smile never leaving his lips.

She stated at him at first, an array of emotion washing over her, her instinct to run threatening to kick in, but when she saw his smile, the glimmer in his warm eyes and felt the softness of his touch, she finally dared to smile back, se dared to hope after months of living hopelessly, blaming herself for that loss.

"Well, a girl kinda hopes that when she kisses a guy, he kisses her back," she said.

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Again I apologize for the delay and I hope you guys enjoyed this update. Next chapter is the last for this fic, unfortunately. But I hope you stick around. You guys are the best. I don't deserve you!


	8. Chapter 8

Well here it is, the last chapter. It is more like an epilogue than a chapter per se, but I hope you enjoy it either way. I know this has not been my greatest masterpiece but it has been a story that I have felt especially close to and it has had a special place in my heart since I started it. I want to thank everyone who took the time to read this and to review and leave lovely and encouraging comments.

I do plan to write another multichapter story very soon, one that will be heavier in the sci-fi than anything else, but it will definitely be Jate so I hope you check it out.

Jack's progress was slow, but it was steady. According to Juliet, as long as he was improving and doing so with his own effort, there was no need to rush matters. Everyone felt encouraged to approach him, talk to him and reminisce with him, but it had to be at his own pace. Juliet urged them not to force any memories to resurface or to crush any false ones they might encounter with him.

One of the strongest and healthiest triggers was Jack returning to his job as camp doctor. Falling into the rhythm and routine of something he was conditioned for proved to be a strong foundation to kick off from. He quickly found his place and a comfort zone from which he could reconnect with the other survivors and fit back in where he always belonged.

His friends who had been at first hesitant to approach him, scared of being hurt or hurting him, soon welcomed him back to their lives, some quickly and others hesitantly. Hurley was the first, as everyone expected, inviting him to a game of golf which quickly grew until everyone from the beach was partaking in the event. Claire was the most chatty, often to the annoyance of Juliet, when she let her mouth run beyond what Jack could handle. She would quickly apologize, covering her mouth as a blush spread her cheeks. Jack would giggle in amusement and turn to play a little more with Aaron who Jack quickly grew fond of and attached to for reasons beyond his comprehension. Jin invited Jack fishing a few times, and those were one of Jack's favorite mornings. Considering the Korean's limited vocabulary, they were fishing trips spent in silence and they allowed him time to clear his mind and really think, of everything happening around him, all the new resurfacing memories that were undoubtedly being accompanied by resurfacing feelings. Charlie planned and dragged him on a camping trip which ended up surprisingly more fun than Jack had imagined. Charlie and Desmond drinking till they passed out, Hurley and Jin dove into some existential debate that obviously confused all involved, and by the end of it, Jack had rekindled his strong friendship with Sayid.

The new found connection with Sawyer, one based on understanding and respect, was also growing. It was not a friendship yet, but both man were glad their old tiresome rivalry was over and they could now work together to help and protect the group. His friendship with Juliet grew stronger. There was something about their connection, an understanding and a respect that could. It be shattered. He trusted her and she him. And he knew that she would need go soft on him. She would be harsh and put him in his place when needed, but she would also be there for him if h relapsed. And he knew he would do the same for her.

Everything was falling back into its rightful place.

It was late in the afternoon, almost early evening, when Jack finally caught a break and found himself waking back to the tent he was finally comfortable to call home. A recent flu outbreak had plagued the camp, and even though it was not something dangerous, it was tedious especially to the camp doctors. The very few who were still healthy spent the day collecting food and water for everyone else while Jack and Juliet spent it seeing patient after patient in the small infirmary. An involuntary smile drew upon his lips when he approached the small blue tent. She was standing just outside, her hair falling off one shoulder, wet from her recent shower, toes digging in the warm sand, staring off into the horizon. He walked quietly towards her, gazing at her beauty, trying his best not to make any sound, scared of breaking that magical spell, the warm red and orange caresses of the setting sun painting the scene before him.

His smile widened as he thought about having her wrapped in his arms shortly, lying in their makeshift bed. He thought back to the previous weeks, how his recovery would have never been possible without her. She'd been there by his side from the beginning. She had always had his back. She had proved that over and over again. How he could ever repay her, he could not imagine. She had been the best friend he needed and could ever imagine. And when the time was right, when the circumstances were right, they had taken the next natural step. He doesn't remember who took the first step, but he does remember their second first kiss was perfect. It was a warm evening, very much like this, at around sunset, the waves crashing at their feet, her fists grabbing onto the front of his shirt, pulling him towards her, his hands wrapped in her wild brown curls. It had left them breathless, as ha every kiss they shared since.

He was finally beside her, his fingers brushing lightly against the skin of her forearm and he dared to plant a soft kiss against her exposed neck.

"You forgot all about me," she whispered, her tone solemn.

"I... I..." he stuttered.

She turned to face, "I haven't seen you all day. I thought you'd gone and forgotten all about me," she said as a ghost of a smirk traced her full lips.

He smiled, "I would never," he said, "never again."

She smiled widely and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I know you won't. I'll make sure you won't," she ended with a giggle.

He wrapped his arms against her waist and hoisted her slightly off the ground, his face nuzzling her neck.

The End.

Once again, I would like to thank you all. You've been absolutely amazing, kind and encouraging with your reviews and with continuing to read this and be patient with me and my horrible updating delays.

I really hope you enjoyed this little ficlet and I hope you'll stick around to read my new stories in the future.


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